sigh
i enjoy you when you're tangible (under the circumstances)
but i've been thru inconsistency way too much and i'm reluctant to go back
it doesn't help that i'm at the lowest point of my life and detoxing and lonely and desolate
so this isn't just me being melodramatic or desperate or pathetic about you and me
in addition to thinking about you, i'm having a very hard time.
and it won't let up. there's no break. nothing. it's so bad and everything keeps fucking up that i almost have to laugh, bitterly, into the cold
because there has to be a higher power or a curse or something
because if the universe was indifferent,
then this much bad shit one-after-another would not happen
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